Letter: To say my undergrad didn’t end the way I thought it would is an understatement

On the one hand, these last four years of my life have been amazing – I have done so many things and met so many people, and I loved every minute of it. But on the other hand, this final year has taken all that away from me, and now I have to move on without getting any closure.

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Last Updated on April 25, 2021 by YGK News Staff

I can’t believe that I’m done.

It still hasn’t hit me, but I am now finished with university. Technically, I will still be taking one course in May, but in a way, my traditional undergrad is pretty much complete. To say that this year did not go how I thought it would is an understatement. I barely saw anyone, I never stepped foot in a classroom, and I spent the entire winter semester living alone in my student house.

I won’t even get to walk up on stage and graduate. I have to be honest, it’s a little weird now that I’m done. I don’t have any friends or housemates I can celebrate with. I can’t go out to any big “end of the year” parties. It all feels a little empty. I should be happy and proud of myself (and I am), but instead, I feel isolated, exhausted, and a little disappointed.

I have very mixed emotions. On the one hand, these last four years of my life have been amazing – I have done so many things and met so many people, and I loved every minute of it. But on the other hand, this final year has taken all that away from me, and now I have to move on without getting any closure. So, it doesn’t ruin the last four years, but it really does put a damper on them. There are so many things I won’t be able to do, or I never got to do. So many people that I haven’t seen in so long, and now, I’m worried I will never see again.

To my friends, classmates, professors, or anyone else that I have met throughout undergrad: thank you. You have helped make this experience so enjoyable. I’m sorry for being distant over this last year, I really miss all of you. It would be great if we could all see each other again sometime in the future (and not just for reunions!).

I am so thankful that I got to go to Queen’s. I’m going to miss walking around campus, going to class every day. I think that’s why I am feeling so conflicted now that I’m done. I am extremely proud of myself for making it this far, but it’s sad that it has to end this way, and there’s nothing I can do about it. If I had the chance to do it all over again – and I could make tuition miraculously go away – I can honestly say I would.

Cha Gheill 🇹🇩

Nicholas Santamaura is a 4th year Film student at Queen’s University.

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